IT WAS SUCH A LONELY SUNDAY YESTERDAY!
T left home early morning, thereafter Cristine too! And the entire day seemed fruitless! Our monkey son is not the kind who would make two different calls & ease his parents! I suffer from anxiety attacks when T drives longer distances! Several requests asking him to take a flight does he defy! Had he have the way, he would have driven to Kolkata too! Then, I and my anxiety attack issue; we are inseparable, the latter was born sometime in 1995! Not only T, I too did not wish to continue with the medication, we believe it is a never ending treatment! I know well once we get it, we live with it! Our mother has anxiety but that is different! She is not a pessimist like me, she is a strong woman! It is I who has a problem with the family driving; riding bus, train, airplane! It is a ridiculous situation inside, you have a dream with regards to your son, he goes faraway to fulfil it or his own dream; you keep precipitating in anticipation of the worst! I do not blame anyone, no one can help me out from it! I have tried mingling, regular meet ups is not my thing! I do not enjoy all girls meet too often, I prefer going out with the man & the son or friends' families meeting! I have come across great male friends! Yesterday, I was sitting numb until T messaged me on reaching, he travelled alone this time! Thereafter, what I did I am coming to that later! If such a mentality comes across Faraaz, you know what the heart goes through! Its a true incident! As always, I am researching, going through videos of him talking, his parents, brother, friends! Like his mother & family, this motherly figure also feels proud of his courage, humanity but at what cost? Loss of priceless young lives is uncalled for! Can mumma ask her son not to go out with his friends? You go out with your friends to a cafe never to come back home? From which angle can one talk good about radicals; radicalism should be outrightly uprooted! Yes, I am a believer, our grandparents, mother had been / are so; they never did think of or speak of killing those who do not conform to their belief / faith! Even I am not comfortable with exposing dresses, does it mean I want the otherwise promising, smiling girls to die?
IN LONELINESS; I STILL STOOD UP, COOKED SOMETHING!
Yesterday, once I got the news of T reaching & seen the son has liked this and that in one forum, I cooked noodles & wholewheat halwa! For my dinner, I had some reheated stale rice, begun-dhonepata bata, lote mach er jhuri & tomato as salad! I did the clicks & when I was ready to share them in public, I realised I forgot to take the picture of the noodles! I was upset & deleted the pictures of the halwa & my dinner plate! Instead, I watched a movie named "Dawat-e-Biryani" set in Lucknow & Kolkata! I have a hidden wish to walk the streets of Lucknow since 1997, people did not take me! I do not find a lone girl's travel safe enough, else you would have seen me travelling all over India at T's expenses! At this time, I want to travel & meet the son mostly! Yearly once, a Kolkata tour is fine! Since yesterday, I am having my dinner done by 7pm! Let me see if it helps, thereafter I would decide the next course! I had an Oriental choice lunch today from that stall run by the few young boys, that plate is 3:50$! One who give you food this cheap cannot keep up with the cleanliness standard! Clean your own table with a wet tissue, also keep your empty plates back in the table designated for it! I do it post pandemic!
The problem is I am not enjoying Oriental meals as before except for those in an upscale one! This means I have to have them not often but kabhi kabhi at a good place! If I try thrice a week, there would be aversion! Post lunch, I walked locally, only 5:5km! Unless it causes discomfort, you can walk post meal after a small gap but cannot exert yourself much!
I enjoyed my home cooked dinner, all made by me; "ruti, begun-dhonepata bata, atta halwa"! I skipped having salad today!
You can see I took a dinner break, else I would have finished my blogpost by now! I am not in a hurry, what to do next except for eating up my head worrying? I am a mother whose young child stays alone! Anyway, mumma irritates giving a list of do's & don'ts every other day! He does not even add us in his social media forums, follows his father in one but not mumma! What harm would it make if the Utopian World I dream of get to be in practice; harmony, humanity should be in full swing; competition be there but fair enough!
WHAT IS THIS VEGAN GLUTEN-FREE PAKWAN?
It's been long I wished to have an authentic Sindhi Dal Pakwan! It did not happen as yet, any day I can cook it! I saw some recipe video, of one of my favourite master chef Sanjot Keer which I wished to follow! Before I could do it, the wish for a vegan, gluten-free version of Pakwan took over me! I kept thinking what possibly can get a crisper luchi basically! Also, I kept thinking about what flour to use! I cannot use refined or whole wheat flour or semolina if I want the bread to be vegan & gluten-free both! I would not buy an expensive flour packet! I have done urad dal / black gram lentils bread earlier! Now the concern was how to get a crisp outcome? Eureka, we are to fry the pooris longer in warm oil & not in super hot oil! Off course, this VEGAN GLUTEN-FREE PAKWAN bread is not healthy, but you can have it once every two weeks! As I say, I wish to do away with monotonous combo meals! I paired today's bread with Bengali "Potol-Peyaz er jhirijhiri" that I remember our father had in his office canteen, came home & requested our mother to cook & pair it with "luchi-porota"! He ate chapati but was not much fond of it; loved the formers; naan bread, tandoori roti, roomali roti! The sandesh sweet I wish to blog about soon! I wanted the platter to arrange Bengali style, I did!
SPLIT SKINLESS BLACKGRAM LENTIL / URAD DAL : 1 1/2 COFFEE MUG
RED CHILLI POWDER : 1 TSP
CARROM SEED : 1 TSP
SALT : AS REQUIRED
OIL : AS REQUIRED TO DEEP FRY + 1/4 SMALL TEA CUP TO KNEAD
PROCEDURE :
Black Gram Lentils / Urad Dal flour has a raw smell! Later I was thinking if I should have roasted it a bit before using! Anyway, the more amount of oil, red chilli powder, carom seed were used for flavours, to get rid of that raw smell! Else this lentil flour may be high protein & less caloric[?]
I took the lentil flour, salt & red chilli powder in a bowl & mixed well! Thereafter, I added the carom seeds & oil; rubbed for a minute or two!
Then adding a little of water at a time, I kneaded it to a dough! The dough would not want to be smooth! However, we can get through it! I covered the dough for half an hour!
I removed the cover; kneaded the dough again for a minute or two! I tore off portions & rolled into roundels dusting with some lentil flour!
Because I could not get smooth edges, I used a cookie cutter for nice shapes!
I warmed enough oil in the wok for deep fry! We would not let it get too hot! I fried them at really low heat, one at a time, both sides well until crisp!
I forgot to, but you keep them onto a tissue paper before serving & having!
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