Of course
Elaine didn’t have the heart to ask her mother to leave.
For the next
half hour, Nick and Kathy made small talk while Elaine continued to sit there,
listening to her mother ramble. Now that Elaine had adjusted to the shock, the
anger that she felt about her long-lost parent, simply barging into her house
was slowly building up inside her, like a pot of water coming to boil. The
notion that Kathy had suddenly been worried about her, after all these years,
was almost laughable. Elaine wondered if she had some ulterior motive for
coming here.
Kathy had
changed significantly, that was evident, and not just in appearance. The young
woman that Elaine remembered from her early childhood was a sloppy, chain smoking
supermarket clerk who drank too much and wallowed in self-pity, a washed-up,
former teenage beauty whose only accomplishment in life had been winning the
title of homecoming queen at her high school.
But there was
almost no trace of that Kathy Brogan in the woman who sat on the other end of
the kitchen table. She still spoke with a Texas accent, dropping her g’s, but
it was much less pronounced. In fact, it sounded almost refined. The lady
sitting there in her kitchen seemed worldly, sophisticated, well mannered, and
confident in herself. This was both puzzling and irritating.
However, below
this refined, self-assured veneer, Elaine thought she detected anxiety. Was it
just nervousness about being in this situation, or something else? Elaine
noticed that Kathy purposefully kept the conversation focused on small talk.
Once the kids
were napping, Tony came back downstairs and served a round of his homemade
bruschetta,
the bell on the security console rang again, indicating someone else was at the
front gate.
Kathy visibly
jumped, nearly dropping the toasted bread on her plate.
“I answer,”
Tony said, and he sashayed out of the kitchen.
The crack in
Kathy’s composure only lasted a split second. She regained it so quickly that
Elaine wasn’t even sure Nick caught it.
Romeo and
Juliet were stirred by the sound of the new arrival. When they gave only a
couple of perfunctory barks, as if they somehow knew it was a friend, Elaine
was sure it was Luna.
“So how’s-a
life in the LBGTQ community?” Elaine heard Tony quip.
“As if you’re
not one of the founding fathers,” Luna replied in her deep voice. “Or should I say
mothers?”
The banter
caused Kathy to raise an eyebrow.
“It’s one of
Elaine’s colleagues,” Nick explained to her. But Elaine was sure Kathy already knew
Luna from the newspaper article.
When the
towering half-African, half-Native American woman entered the kitchen, her
hulking form nearly filled the doorway. Luna was dressed in a chocolate and
red-trimmed jogging outfit and trainers, a large duffle bag slung over her
shoulder. Whenever she came to visit, she always put Elaine through at least
one intense martial arts training session, sometimes two, and they usually went
jogging together along the path that led to the village.
“Hey,” Luna
said to Nick, setting the bag down on the floor. Only then did she notice the
unfamiliar woman sitting across from him. “Oh...I didn’t realize...” It took
her only milliseconds and a subtle glance at the faces around the room to
understand that there was something very wrong with this picture.
“I’m Kathy,”
Elaine’s mother said, rising from her chair and offering her hand. “Kathy
Brogan.”
Luna seemed
taken aback by the last name, and she shot a quick glance at Elaine as the two
of them shook hands.
Elaine stood
up, Luna hugging her with a powerful arm. “How you doin’, baby-doll?” Elaine
couldn’t answer. For some reason, when she sat back down at the table she felt
like a small child. It was clear that Luna had already made a good guess about
what was going on. She knew the basic details of Elaine’s past.
For some
reason, Luna’s touch also made Elaine feel emotional, and a lump formed in her
throat. “I’m fine.” It was the first word she had uttered since they’d all come
into the kitchen, and she was shocked at the meekness of her own voice—she not
only felt like a little girl, she sounded like one, too.
“Double
cappuccino?” Tony asked Luna, already priming the espresso machine.
“That would be
great,” Luna said. As she seated herself next to Elaine and glanced at Kathy
again, a fierce, protective look flickered across her angular face.
Kathy smiled
amicably. “So do you work for the FBI, too?”
Nick, Elaine
and Luna exchanged glances. Tony looked over his shoulder from the espresso
machine.
“They don’t work
for the FBI,” Nick said. Then, after a couple of seconds of hesitation, he
apparently decided it was okay for her to know more. “They work for the Secret
Service—that article you read was wrong.”
Elaine frowned
at him disapprovingly. She didn’t need to know that.
Kathy smiled
at Luna and Elaine, as if impressed. “Well, FBI, CIA, Secret Service—I don’t
really know the difference. That must be very interestin’ work, even though it’s
obviously very dange—”
“I’ve had
enough of this,” Elaine snapped. The words just seemed to fly out of her mouth,
unbidden. She stood up so abruptly that she bumped her hip against the table. Nick’s
coffee cup clattered against the saucer. Elaine’s eyes bored into Kathy’s. “You
and I need to talk.”
Kathy looked
as rattled as Nick’s coffee cup, and she stood up, too. “Yes. Yes of course we
do, honey.”
Elaine led her
mother out of the kitchen, past the living room, and into the workout room. In
her humble opinion, the crude woman didn’t even deserve the comfort of a chair.
They walked
only a few feet across the squishy exercise mats before Elaine stopped and
whirled around to face her mother. She unleashed a flurry of angry words that
seemed to come out of nowhere, but all the sentences had been thoughts that had
run through her mind thousands of times before over the course of her life.
“How dare you
barge into my house like this! You walked out on me when I was
ten years
old, ran away with some boy-toy coworker of yours at the supermarket, never to
be seen or heard from again! I was only a little girl! Do you know how much
that hurt me, how selfish you were, and probably still are? If you think you’re
going to waltz back into my life now, as if nothing happened, you can think
again!”
Elaine was so
outraged that she was only half-aware of what she said.
Kathy just
stood there next to the red EVERLAST punching bag. It hung between them from
the ceiling, perfectly still, like a silent referee. Her mother seemed
completely unfazed by the verbal onslaught. Then one lone tear ran down her
cheek.
She wiped it
away with a finger. “I know you’re angry with me, honey.”
“‘Honey’?”
Elaine mimicked. “I don’t even
know you! You have no right to use
endearments with me! After all this time, you may as well be a total stranger
who walked in off the street.”
Now Kathy
looked hurt. “That’s not true, Elaine. I was always there, watchin’ over you,
makin’ sure you were all right and ready to come to your rescue—you just didn’t
know it, baby.”
“It’s the
truth.” Kathy sniffled, then pulled a frilly handkerchief from her pocket and
wiped her eyes. Despite her crying, she beamed at Elaine. “I always kept track
of you, made sure you were okay, at least until you finished at Bromley.” She
paused. “Did you know I was there when you graduated?”
Elaine
blinked. “You were?”
“I certainly
was. I was sittin’ in the very back of the auditorium. And I was there when you
graduated from Rhode Island School of Design, too.” Kathy paused, beaming
again. “When I watched you walk across that stage and take that diploma into
your hands, it was one of the greatest moments of my life—I was so proud I
could have burst! The first person from my family ever to graduate from
college!”
Elaine was a
little thrown by all this.
Kathy blew her
nose into her handkerchief, her eyes now bloodshot and teary. “I know that
leavin’ you and your father was a terrible thing to do—an unforgivable thing,
really—but you have to understand, honey, when you were born, I was eighteen
years old. Why, I was just a child myself. When Patrick got me pregnant in the
back of his van in Pensacola—”
“Spare me the
sordid details, will you?”
“The point is,
I wasn’t
ready to be a mother, Elaine. Can you understand that? You’re a
mother, too, but you were smart enough to wait until you were older. Can you
imagine what it would have been like if you’d had a baby when you were only
eighteen?”
Elaine found
it hard to sympathize with any of this. Kathy was basically telling her that
she was an unwelcome accident and that, finally, after ten years of raising her
little girl, she had gotten fed up and decided to leave.
On top of
that, Kathy wasn’t even being honest. The real reason she left was because she
was jealous of Elaine, jealous of all the attention that her husband showered
on his daughter. Elaine would never forget the night when her mother said “Maybe
you would rather little Lainie sleep in our bed and I can sleep in her room?”
and her father then slapping her so hard it had knocked her off her feet. Elaine
wasn’t actually in the same room with them at the time, but, through the wall,
she’d heard both the comment and the sound of her mother hitting the floor. As
far as she knew, it was the only time Patrick had ever struck Kathy, but it was
such a heinous thing to say that Elaine thought her mother deserved it. A couple
of weeks later, Kathy disappeared with a checkout clerk from the local
supermarket, where they both worked.
“What exactly
do you want, Kathy?” Elaine said. She refused to call her Mother or Mom—Kathy
had not earned that privilege. “Why did you come here?”
Kathy looked
surprised. “Isn’t it obvious?”
Kathy sniffled
again, wiped her nose, and put her handkerchief back in her pocket. “I can
never make up for what I did to you, honey, I know that, but I can make it up
to your children.” With her blue eyes brightening, she said, “I’m more than
ready to be a grandmother now—have been for a long time!”
Well that’s
just wonderful, Elaine thought. She wanted to ask:
and do you really think I would trust you with my precious children?
“I’ll be the
best grandmother that’s ever lived, too,” Kathy went on, swept away by her
fantasy. “You’ll see that, if you just give me a chance. Please?”
Elaine’s first
impulse was to tell her mother to get the hell out of the house. But as these
words formed on her tongue, she hesitated, remembering how much Nick had always
wanted the kids to have a grandmother. And she had wanted that for her
children, too, honestly. She and Nick had lamented that neither Ryan or Amelia
would have the experience of a relationship with grandparents. This issue was
especially important to Nick, because he’d been quite close to his grandmother
on his mother’s side of the family.
Elaine glanced
down at her mother’s tanned arms. “Where do you live now, anyway?”
“I—I’m in the
process of movin’ to Florida.”
“Well, until
just recently, I was livin’ in Greece, with my husband. He’s Greek. But we’re,
um, gettin’ a divorce.”
Aha,
Elaine thought. That’s the real reason she showed up now. She was all alone. And
probably broke, too.
“Don’t worry,”
Kathy said reassuringly. “I have plenty of money, if that’s what you’re
concerned about. I’m fully capable of taking care of myself. And after the
divorce settlement I’ll be even more financially secure. I was thinkin’ that I
could sell the house in Florida and move to Nice or Cannes or somewhere nearby—not
too close, of course, I know you and your husband want your privacy. He’s
amazin’, by the way, so strong and handsome, but with a heart of gold, too,
just like your father, God rest his soul.” She paused. “Anyway, if I moved
somewhere nearby, I could see my lovely grandchildren more often than just once
a year.”
Elaine
considered all this noncommittally.
“Please let me
be a grandmother for your two precious children, honey. Please?” Kathy looked a
little desperate, Elaine thought. “They’re both so adorable, and every child
needs a grandma to dote over them and spoil them a little. Just give me a
chance—that’s
all I ask.” Kathy gave a winning smile, and in that instant Elaine saw her own
smile in it, as if looking into a mirror.
Kathy did seem
sincere about wanting to be a grandmother to the children. And it was
impossible for her not to soften a little towards someone so intent on making
Ryan and Amelia happy.
“I’ll think
about it,” Elaine finally said. “I have to talk to Nick.”
“Yes of course
you do.”
Kathy
tentatively stepped forward, as if to give a hug, but Elaine did not welcome
it. Instead, she took Elaine’s hand. “Thank you for even considerin’, it honey,
and being so forgivin’.” Her eyes welled with tears. “I thank you from the
bottom of my heart. You’re bein’ much kinder to me than I deserve.”
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